Pub Wisdom

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. ~Robert Heinlein

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  ~Ernest Hemingway

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.  ~Author Unknown

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.  ~John Marcellus Huston

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!  ~William Shakespeare, Othello
I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
~Noel Coward

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
~Brendan Behan
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. ~Jean Kerr

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. ~Scottish Proverb

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on. ~Oscar Levant
Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune. ~Giuseppe Garibaldi

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. ~Horace Hutchinson

A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. ~Author Unknown

I began drinking alcohol at the age of thirteen and gave it up in my fifty sixth year; it was like going straight from puberty to a mid-life crisis.- George Montgomery

You got to realise that when I was 20 years old, I had a house, a Mercedes, a Corvette and a million dollars in the bank before I could buy alcohol legally. Dr Dre

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it. ~Raymond Chandler

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.  ~W.C. Fields

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness – or so good as drink. ~Lord Chesterton

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
~George Burns

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ~Lady Astor

I am the booze-Jim Lahey, Trailer Park Boys

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